


In The Darkest Night

by YouAreTheBrightest234 (TransLucas)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Amputee Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Gen, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Military Homophobia, Military Inaccuracies, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Therapy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, War Veteran Steve Rogers, even though my dad is a vet oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-27 18:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17167388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransLucas/pseuds/YouAreTheBrightest234
Summary: The past few years had not been kind to former Army medic Bucky Barnes: a career-ending injury, a failed engagement, and a PTSD diagnosis. Now, Bucky wants as little to do with the military as possible (which is hard, when you work at a VA hospital).Then he meets injured veteran and artist, Steve Rogers, and the military takes on a pair of piercing blue eyes and blonde hair.





	1. Chapter 1

“Daddy?” A small voice broke through Bucky’s luckily dreamless sleep. It took the man a moment to identify where the voice was possibly coming from.

“Daddy, I had a bad dream.” Bucky turned to see his young son standing at his bedside, clutching a stuffed toy that Bucky couldn’t identify. Peter was gazing at Bucky with wide, scared eyes.

Bucky let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and relaxed, “I’m sorry, Pete. C’mere, bud.” Peter hoisted himself onto the bed and snuggled up to Bucky’s right side.

His four-year-old son’s head on his chest grounded Bucky and he rubbed Peter’s back soothingly, “You wanna talk about it?”

Peter shook his head and pressed closer to Bucky’s side. Bucky’s hand drifted to Peter’s brown curls, “That’s okay. You don’t have to. But it might make you feel better if you do.”

If only I’d take my own advice Bucky thought.

Peter was silent for a moment and Bucky wondered if he had fallen asleep again, “I had a dream that bad guys came and took you away,” Peter whispered in a tone that made Bucky’s heart clench.

Bucky tensed but tried to keep his voice steady, “Aw, pal, that would never happen. We’re safe.”

Peter gazed up at him, “What about the bad guys you fought in the Army?”

Visions of rebel armies, bloody faces of POWs, and dizzying battlefields swam through Bucky’s head and he had to force himself to turn his attention back to Peter, “No, bud, they can’t get us.”

A silence fell over the two and Bucky was about to suggest the two of them go back to sleep when a strange smell wafted from Peter’s direction. Bucky sniffed, “Pete, did you fart?”

After a fit of giggles, Peter shook his head, “No, I had an accident in my bed.”

Bucky groaned inwardly, “You could’ve told me that before I let you stink up my bed.” Bucky teased, tickling Peter’s tummy. 

Peter’s pure laugh made Bucky’s heart soar, “Sorry, Daddy.”

Bucky expertly slipped his prosthetic sock and arm onto his left shoulder then scooped Peter up in his arms, kissing the top of his head, “That’s alright. Let’s go clean up, yeah?”

Peter was not kidding; he had nearly soaked through the pee pad to the mattress. After Bucky threw the sheets in the wash, along with the soiled clothes Peter had changed out of, he took Peter by the hand and led him back to Bucky’s bedroom. Peter crawled under the blankets and made himself comfortable while Bucky detached his arm and placed it within reach. When he turned around, Peter had rolled himself up in the blankets, “Daddy, look!” Peter called, giggling, “I’m like a burrito!”

Bucky chuckled warmly, “Well, this burrito better scoot over so Daddy isn’t tired for work tomorrow.” Peter continued to giggle but moved obediently.

Bucky lay down and Peter clung to his side like a magnet. Then, Peter sat up and looked at Bucky directly in the eyes, with a ferocity that Bucky had never seen in him before, “I love you, Daddy.”

Bucky felt his chest swell with love and pride, “I love you too, Petey.” He kissed Peter’s forehead and the two settled in for a few more hours of sleep.

 

Morning came too early.

If Bucky had it his way, he would lie in bed and cuddle with his son all day. But, you know, money is nice to have. Bucky’s stomach churned at the idea of Peter growing up the way he did: not knowing where your next meal would come from, joining the Army just so you have a place to sleep every night. No. Peter would always be taken care of, no matter what.

Bucky sat up, careful not to disturb the sleeping boy next to him. He listened to each of his joints pop as he stood, ending with a crack of his back.

Once again, he began the process of attaching his prosthetic,

There were some days that Bucky could swear his ears were still ringing from the IED. Some days, all he could see was Coulson being thrown around the inside of their M113 or it felt like the softest silk was the coarse desert sand.

Those were the days he held Peter a little closer, called Clint to come for dinner; anything to remind himself that he was not in a tent in Afghanistan, but a 2-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.

After Bucky had showered and changed into his scrubs, a knock came to the door. Sneakers in hand, Bucky answered with a wide grin, “Hey.”

Clint smiled, “Hi.” He kissed Bucky on the cheek, then closed the door behind himself, “How’s it going?”

Bucky nodded, “Good. You?”

Clint shrugged, “Can’t complain. Nat and I are finally going steady.”

Bucky slipped into his shoes, then moved to the counter to fix Peter’s breakfast, “Oh, yeah? That’s good, I’m happy for you guys. Pete really seems to like her.”

Clint smiled, gazing softly out the window as though Nat was standing before him, “Yeah.” He sighed.

Bucky cast a quick glance before returning to the half-sliced fruit in front of him, “I remember when that smile was reserved for me.”

Clint blushed, then crossed to stand across the counter from his ex-fiance, “You know I still love you, Buck, right?”

Bucky jerked his head up, eyes wide, “Oh! I didn’t mean-”

“I know,” Clint chuckled, “I know what you meant.” His humorous expression hardened into a serious one, “But, really. Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you.”

Bucky put the knife he was using down and leaned against the counter, “I know.” He placed his flesh hand against Clint’s cheek.

There was a comfortable silence as Clint paced the room, gazing at the familiar photographs on the wall: Peter’s first birthday, Bucky receiving his Purple Heart, Peter on Christmas with his dads.

“You should get back out there.” Clint declared abruptly.

Bucky was now drying his hands and finished packing his lunch. His head snapped up, “Excuse me?”

Clint stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered casually back to the kitchen, “You heard me. You should go out more. Settle down with a nice guy, give Pete a family.”

Bucky closed the container filled with last night’s leftovers. Truthfully, Bucky was terrified of dating again. Peter had been too young to remember Clint and Bucky’s semi-amicable split, but Bucky was not going to let Peter get attached to someone only to have them leave. He was glad Clint had moved on, but Bucky wasn’t sure if he was ready for that next step yet.

“God knows he’ll need on after I leave,” Clint muttered under his breath.

Bucky’s head shot up again, “What?”

Clint looked sheepish as he leaned against the doorframe in the kitchen, “There’s a programming job in D.C. that I was offered,” Clint paused, “I’m going to take it.”

Bucky froze, “You’re moving. To D.C.” He stammered, processing the new information.

“Papa!” Peter ran from the hallway and Clint caught the boy in his arms.

“Hey, kiddo!” Peter wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck and buried his face in his shoulder.

We’ll talk later Clint mouthed before Peter started telling him about his weekend with Bucky. Bucky gave a curt nod, then plastered on a grin, “Alright, pal, have fun with Papa today!” 

Peter wriggled out of Clint’s arms and ran to hug Bucky around the legs. Bucky leaned down to kiss his head, “See you later, Pete.” He looked to Clint, “Leftovers are in the fridge for lunch or you can make him some of the dino nuggets in the freezer.”

When Bucky looked down again, Peter was giving him a look of pure love and Bucky’s heart nearly burst, “I love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, buddy.”

Clint gave him a sympathetic look, “We’ll talk tonight.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah,” He murmured. Another kiss on the cheek and Bucky was out the door.

* * *

 

“-and then he told me he was moving to D.C.!” Bucky exclaimed, clocking in and sticking his lunch in the fridge. 

Bruce followed suit, “Did Peter hear?”

“God, I hope not. I don’t want to have to have  _ that _ discussion until the last possible moment.”

Bruce grimaced, “I don’t know how well that’s going to work. If you tell Peter at the last minute, right before Clint leaves, he might not feel like he has time to say goodbye.”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah, you’re probably right. I don’t know, Clint and I are going to talk about it when I get home tonight.” Bucky followed Bruce back to the nurse’s station, where Bruce began to search up something on the computer.

Bucky had been working at the Veterans Association hospital and clinic since he had returned from the war. Being a decorated Army medic, it really was a no-brainer. They offered full benefits to Bucky and even Peter. Although, Clint was excluded for...obvious reasons.

So the Army sent him to school and he came out as an RN.

He was lucky in that he didn’t see much action; he’d had enough of that to last a lifetime. Most of his time was spent checking on patients, administering medications, and running point from the nurse’s station. On the rare occasion he saw anything horrible, he did what he had to do and got the hell out of the way.

“The guy in 45 is being discharged in an hour. Can you take care of his exam and get an attending or someone to sign off?” Bruce scribbled some notes on his pad, eyes darting from the screen to his paper.

Bucky nodded, quickly searching for the chart to review it, “Yeah, I’ve got it.” Skimming the chart, Bucky started down the hallway to the patient’s room.

He really did enjoy working at the hospital. Seeing veterans and their families being helped was nice. Sure, the VA was far from perfect, but Bucky felt he was doing his part to help these veterans get back on their feet.

He knocked twice on the door before entering the room, then opened the door, “Mr. Collins?”

The former Sergeant, who had been hospitalized with pneumonia, sat on the hospital bed, fuming, “It’s about damn time you got in here!”

Bucky grimaced. It was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky closed the door behind himself and leaned against it with an exhausted sigh.

His day had been anything but eventful, but Monday’s were always more tiring than the rest of the week. He caught himself already wishing for Friday.

“Daddy!” An excited squeal filled the apartment as Peter rounded the corner of the hallway and into Bucky’s arms.

Bucky smiled, “Hi, Pete.” Clint came out from the hallway as well, “Did you have fun with Papa today?”

Peter nodded eagerly, “We played dinosaurs and watched Paw Patrol and went to the park to feed the ducks!”

“Yeah, did you know you’re not supposed to give ducks bread? How ridiculous is that?” Clint exclaimed incredulously. Peter giggled.

Bucky caught Clint’s eye and raised his eyebrows emphatically. Clint cleared his throat, “Pete, why don’t you go pick up your toys and then we can keep telling Daddy about our day, yeah?”

Peter nodded, “Okay, Papa.” He gave Bucky one last squeeze, then wiggled from his arms and took off for his room.

Bucky set his bag on the table and shed his jacket, “So when were you planning on telling me about this?”

Clint took on a sheepish look again, “I was gonna wait until this weekend so you could have some time to talk to Peter. It just slipped out this morning. I’m sorry.”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, half sitting on the edge of the table, “I’m not mad, Clint. In fact, I’m happy for you.” He held his arms out helplessly, “But we have a son to think about.”

Clint sat on the couch, leaning back and rubbing his hand over his face, “I know that, Buck, but I think it’s time I get out of New York. I think it’s time I start somewhere new.”

“And what does Natasha think about this?” Bucky countered, “You two just started going steady and you’re moving 3 hours away.”

Clint shrugged sheepishly, “She’s…”

“She’s what?” Bucky snapped.

“She’s coming with me.” Clint looked at the floor.

Bucky paced the room, “Oh my god, Clint.” He said, putting his head in his hands.

Bucky felt helpless like everything was slipping through his fingers. Bucky did not like feeling helpless.

“Buck, I don’t leave for 3 more months. I’ll still be around to help with Peter for a little while longer, I’ll still be here for his birthday. But I’m telling you now so we can make a plan. He is _our_ son and I want to make sure this is okay with him.”

Bucky ran his hands over his face. His breathing was getting too fast for his liking and he was not about to end this day with a panic attack, “Go home, Clint.”

“Buck-”

“I’ll tell Peter that you had to leave but you said goodbye, but I really need you to leave. We can talk when you have Pete on Wednesday.”

Clint stood and paused at the door, “Do you need me to take Pete for a bit so you can have a minute to yourself?”

That was honestly the last thing Bucky wanted. What he wanted was to go into Peter’s room and scoop him up and never let go. But Bucky just shook his head, eyes closed and head tilted towards the ceiling.

He didn’t see Clint leave, but he heard the door close and felt it was safe to open his eyes. He paced the kitchen for a couple more minutes, restoring his breathing to its normal pace.

Tiny feet padded into the room, then stopped, “Where’s Papa?”

Guilt hit Bucky at his core. He bent down to meet Peter, “Papa had to go home, bud, but he’ll be back on Wednesday, alright?”

Peter looked almost dejected but he nodded, “Okay. Can we watch Paw Patrol?”

Bucky smiled warmly, “Sure, pal, you can go turn it on.”

Bucky watched Peter run to turn on the TV.

The day Peter was born was the best day of Bucky’s life. He would never forget running through the hospital, holding Clint’s hand. Pacing the hallway outside the hospital room, then hearing Peter’s first cry through the door.

The first time Bucky held Peter, he felt like he was floating on air. He was completely zeroed in on the small, red-faced baby in front of him, who was staring up at him with wide, brown eyes. He had a mop of dark hair and Clint insisted that he had Bucky’s nose.

Now that Peter was older, Bucky could see the resemblance between him and his son. They had never met the surrogate, so they couldn’t make a comparison to her, but Peter was a dead ringer for Bucky. They had matching eyes and dark brown hair, although Peter’s hair was curlier than Bucky’s.

Much to Bucky’s pleasure, though, Peter had not taken on Bucky’s personality. Bucky was rough, quiet, perpetually angry. Peter, on the other hand, was loud, kind, and happy. He was even a more agreeable little guy than Clint. Peter loved people, he wanted to be friends with everyone, and he wanted to make his dads happy.

Bucky pulled a package of noodles from the pantry and a pot from under the counter. As he was filling it with water, Bucky thought about what he was going to do when Clint left. The VA offered childcare, but it was still expensive. With Clint’s ability to work from home most of the week, it only left two days to find someone to take Peter.

Peter babbled on and on about his day with Clint and the show he was watching and God knows what else. The water boiled and Bucky dumped the pasta in, wondering how on earth he was going to tell this kid that his dad was moving.

Bucky knew he was thinking too far ahead. The petty part of him wanted to let Clint deal with it, but Bucky wanted Peter to know that his dads still loved him, not matter what.

Bucky felt guilt fill him while he listened to Peter talk about Clint.

He was able to distract Peter with a bath and a bedtime story. Halfway through Goodnight Moon, Bucky looked over to find Peter sound asleep. He lovingly kissed his forehead and quietly snuck out of the room.

The warm water of the shower made Bucky’s tense muscles relax and he caught himself wondering how he went so long without warm showers in Afghanistan. He reminded himself that Afghanistan was 100 degrees and a warm shower would have given him heatstroke. As his brain graciously reminded him of the people he saw collapse during battle because of heatstroke, he pushed himself back to thinking about Clint.

He still remembered the day they met. Bucky felt warm as he thought about Clint’s crooked smile and snarky charm. Below that, though, Clint was a kind, loving guy. Bucky wished more than anything that they had worked out.

But they hadn’t.

So, Bucky had moved out. Because Peter was Bucky’s biological son, Clint thought it best that he lived with Bucky most of the time. Clint came over, worked out of Bucky’s apartment and watched Peter for free. Clint and Bucky harbored no hard feelings towards each other, but Bucky still loved Clint more than anything except Peter. It hurt him to think about Clint being so far away.

After checking once more that Peter was asleep and safe, Bucky fell onto his bed and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

“Come on, James, who’s waitin’ for you back home?”

Bucky rolled his eyes, securing his vest closer to his chest. The familiar, coarse fabric was rough against his skin, “I got nobody waitin’ for me.” He rifled around in his medic bag, making sure he had everything he needed.

“What, are you gay?” Coulson teased, glancing over his shoulder. Bucky expertly faked laughter as everyone appreciated Coulson’s frankly tasteless joke. But it was the Army. Taste wasn’t exactly part of the job description.

“Juliet-India, this is Alpha-Bravo, do you copy?”

Hill picked up the radio, “Alpha-Bravo, I copy.”

“Return to—” The radio op’s voice was cut off by a bout of static.

Hill’s eyebrows creased in confusion and she raised the radio to her lips again, “10-1, Alpha-Bravo, please repeat.”

Another bout of static. Coulson now looked concerned as well.

“10-9, Alpha-Bravo, we’ve got static.”

Then there was a loud blast.

* * *

 

Bucky sat up in a sweat, heaving. He pushed the blankets off his body and stumbled to the bathroom. He couldn’t even be bothered to turn on the lights as he collapsed in front of the toilet. He was heaving so hard that his stomach cramped. Bucky winced, wrapping a hand around his stomach and lowering himself to the cool floor.

Bucky let out a gentle whine as his warm cheek pressed to the cold tile. He lay on the floor for a few minutes, letting the tile cool his body as he tried to slow his breathing.

When he felt like his knees were no longer lliquefied he staggered back to his bed and clicked on his phone. The bright screen read 1:06 am and he had 2 texts from Clint.

 

**I meant what I said about you getting back out there.  
Nat says she knows a guy you might like**

Bucky rolled his eyes. Then,

 

**What’s his name?**


	3. Chapter 3

Once again, morning came earlier than expected. God, Bucky really needed to get better at getting a full night of sleep.

As Bucky was slipping into his prosthetic sock, his phone buzzed. The screen lit up with the name of his babysitter, Pepper:

**Can’t make it this morning. Emergency at home. Really sorry.**

Bucky sighed, already feeling a headache coming on. He wracked his brain for other places to bring Peter. Clint worked security and there was no _way_ they would let him bring Peter. Besides that, he was probably already at work. Bucky didn’t know any of his neighbors, nor did he trust them. He was left with only one option.

Bucky attached his prosthetic and dialed Bruce’s number. The phone rang for a minute, then Bruce answered in a groggy voice, “Hello?”

“Bruce? It’s Bucky.”

“Mm, yeah, what’s up, man?” Bruce said. Bucky started to feel guilty but there was no time.

“Pepper can’t make it today. I’ll work an extra shift on Wednesday if you let me bring Peter in with me. I don’t have anywhere else to take him.”

Bruce sighed with the same emotion Bucky had just a moment ago, “You can’t pay childcare for one day?”

Bucky put Bruce on speaker and slipped into his scrubs, “You know I can’t.”

“Right, right,” Bruce paused and Bucky cringed, thinking he would say no, “Fine. As long as he sits still and doesn’t bother anyone, I can’t see why not.”

Bucky heaved a sigh of relief, “Thank you so much, Bruce. You don’t know how much this means.”

Bucky could hear a smile in Bruce’s voice, “Don’t mention it. Just be here on time and make sure you write in your extra shift on the timesheet.” With that, Bruce hung up.

Bucky rushed through his morning routine and slipped into his shoes before entering Peter’s bedroom. Peter was asleep, his lips slightly parted. His curls were wild, sticking out in every direction, and he clutched a stuffed bear close to his face.

“Pete? Come on, buddy, it’s time to get up.”

Peter whined a little bit as Bucky put a hand on his tummy, “’M tired, Daddy.”

Bucky smiled sympathetically, “I know, pal, but you’ve gotta come to work with me today so it’s time to get up.”

That woke Peter up, “Really?! I get to come to work with you today?!”

Bucky chuckled warmly, pulling a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from Peter’s dresser, “Yes, sir. But you’ve gotta get dressed and tame that lion’s mane of yours.”

Eager to go to his dad’s work for the day, Peter got up so fast that he nearly knocked himself over. Bucky laughed lightly and helped get his son dressed, his hair combed, and his teeth brushed.

Then came the shoes.

“Peter, we have to put your shoes on.”

Peter crossed his arms, “No.”

Bucky sighed, letting his head fall downward, “Peter. I’m not messing around, kid. Come here and let me put your shoes on.”

Peter uncrossed his arms but leaned against the wall in protest, “Nooo.” He whined.

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Fine. We’ll put them on at the hospital.” With that, he scooped Peter up and they were out the door.

Parenting was about compromises, right?

After a short fight in the parking lot (once again, over Peter’s shoes) Bucky slung Peter over his hip and pulled him inside.

The clinic’s waiting room was already busy, even at 7 AM, and Bucky was glad to be working in the semi-quiet hospital that day. Bruce already looked up to his eyeballs, but he smiled at Peter, “Hey, good morning, guys.”

Bucky looked down at Peter, who decided that was the time to be shy, “You remember Bruce, Pete?”

Peter nodded, smiled shyly, then buried his face in Bucky’s shoulder. Bruce and Bucky chuckled, “It’s been a rough morning.” Bucky looked around at the patients in the waiting room, “What’s this all about?”

Bruce rolled his eyes and Bucky had to refrain from laughing out loud, “CNN did another story on Ebola. Now, everyone and their mother is coming to get tested.”

Bucky chuckled, “Enjoy yourself.” He started to walk off, then turned around, “Lunch?” He called.

Bruce, surrounded by patients, answered with a thumbs up.

A short elevator ride later, Bucky sat Peter down at his chair in the nurse’s station, “Alright, bud, Daddy has to get some work done, so can you sit here for a little bit?” He pulled Peter’s tablet out of his bag and handed it to him.

Peter nodded, “Okay, Daddy.”

Wanda smiled, “I can keep an eye on him, James.”

Bucky sighed with relief, “Oh, thank you so much, Wanda. I’ll be back in an hour to check on him.” He rubbed Peter’s hair, “Be good, okay?”

Peter nodded, already transfixed on some kid opening toys on YouTube.

 _Is this seriously what kids watch these days?_ Bucky rolled his eyes and picked up his first charts of the day.

His morning rolled by quickly. He changed IV’s, catheters, and bedpans. He discharged 2 people and by the time he came back to check on Peter, it was nearly 11 AM.

Peter was sitting in Wanda’s lap now, watching whatever she was doing on the computer. Bucky smirked, “He gave you the puppy dog eyes, huh?”

Wanda blushed a bit, “I couldn’t resist.”

Bucky smiled, “Neither can I.” Then he called Peter’s attention, “I’ve got one more patient and then we can go get some lunch, okay, pal?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

So, Bucky picked up his last chart and scanned it as he walked down the hallway.

_Captain Steven G Rogers_

_Admitted following IED detonation. Shallow lacerations to face, arms, and hands. 6 stitches to left side abdomen. Initial analysis is severely bruised spinal cord resulting in temporary paralysis and muscle weakness. Physical therapy 3x a week. Reevaluate in 4 weeks_

Below the analysis was a list of medications, allergies, and a medical history. Bucky winced as he read of a young Captain Rogers suffering asthma, pneumonia, and a variety of other serious conditions.

Bucky rapped briefly on the door before opening it.

Captain Rogers was sitting in his bed stiffly, writing on a piece of paper. Beside him sat a mess of identical papers. Bucky stiffened. He knew exactly what those were.

“Captain Rogers, I’m James. I’ll be taking care of you for the next few weeks.”

Captain Rogers continued writing for a moment, then looked up and gave Bucky a weak smile, “Hi, James.” He looked at the mess on the table sheepishly, “Sorry about all…” He waved his hand around, “…all this.”

Bucky smiled back, “Don’t sweat it. I was a Ranger; I know how it goes.”

Captain Rogers continued, as though he didn’t hear Bucky, “I’ve got death notifications and gratuity paperwork and—" He cut himself off, “I’m so sorry, it has been a very long few days.” Captain Rogers chuckled weakly.

Bucky returned the smile, “I can imagine.” Except he didn’t have to imagine, “I’ll come in a few times a day and check your IV and vitals and make sure your stitches are holding up.”

Captain Rogers nodded once, “Great.” He pointed back to his papers, “Do you mind if I…” He trailed off.

“Not at all.” Bucky replied as nonchalantly as possible.

This guy had been in an IED explosion. There were shallow cuts on his face and Bucky couldn’t help but wonder if that was what he looked like when he was admitted to the hospital.

Fluids were flowing steadily through the IV and Bucky decided the bag was full enough to be changed later in the day, possibly by the next shift. He moved efficiently, jotting down Captain Rogers’ blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature.

“Captain Rogers, I’d like to take a look at your stitches really quick.”

Captain Rogers jumped a bit, like he wasn’t expecting Bucky to talk to him after their introductory conversation, “Oh. Yes. Sure.” He helpfully reached to pull the gown further down his side. His left shoulder was already exposed, revealing his connections to the vitals monitor.

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence that passed between them before Captain Rogers spoke, “Steve.”

“Sorry?” Bucky questioned, briefly meeting Captain Rogers’ gaze.

“It’s Steve now. Not Captain Rogers. They offered me an honorable discharge and I’m taking it.” Cap- Steve sounded determined and it reminded Bucky of the way he had sounded years before.

Bucky gave him a hopeful smile before returning to cleaning the stitches, “I did the same after I got this guy.” He shrugged his prosthetic shoulder, “The first visitor I got was my CO telling me I could take an honorable discharge, get my medal, and be on my way.”

Steve seemed to perk up when Bucky mentioned his medal, “What’d they give you?”

“Purple Heart.”

Steve made a noise that sounded like approval, “Impressive.”

Bucky shrugged and cracked a smile, “Eh, my son isn’t old enough to think I’m cool yet so I’ve got a few more years before I can fully appreciate it.”

Steve chuckled, “Yeah.” He mumbled, “Son, huh?”

Warmth and protectiveness filled Bucky as he thought about his little boy, who was sitting just down the hall, “Peter. He’s four.”

Steve let out another deep laugh, “You and your lady have to teach him then I guess.”

Bucky shrugged again, “Not sure his other dad thinks it’s very cool either, so I might be a bit of a long ranger on that front.”

Steve froze, “Other dad?”

Bucky internally rolled his eyes, “Yep. Although I’ve got main custody.”

Despite the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the military was still full of homophobic, holier-than-thou types. He still remembered the day Clint met Bucky for lunch and he still remembered the glares he got.

“That’s really nice. I’m sure Peter’s a great kid.”

 _That_ took Bucky by surprise and as he helped adjust Steve’s gown, he nodded, a small smile growing on his face, “He is.” But Bucky desperately wanted to change the topic, “Well, you’re all set. Someone will be up to get you for physical therapy in an hour or so.” Bucky gathered his clipboard, “Do you need anything else for the time being?”

Steve looked significantly glummer at the idea of being left alone with his papers, “I think I’m fine. Thanks, James.”

“You know,” Bucky paused before opening the door, “If we’re going to be on a first name basis, you should know my friends call me Bucky.”

Steve’s eyebrow quirked, “Good to know, Bucky.”

When Bucky returned to the nurse’s station, a disheveled Bruce was having an animated conversation with Peter. Well, Peter was animated. Bruce looked like he might turn to dust if he moved a muscle.

“Daddy!” Peter squealed as Bucky picked him up and braced him against his hip.

“Hi, pal, you ready for lunch?” Peter nodded and Bucky turned to Bruce.

They both spoke at the same time, “You will not believe the day I’ve had.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, friends! Hope this chapter is satisfying! Leave kudos and comments!! 
> 
> Love all of you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I need to tell you all that when I started writing this, I did NOT imagine it going in this direction.

“He’s the first one—Pete, stop playing with your food—He’s the first patient, I guess, that I’ve even brought Peter up around. And he was cool with it!”

Bruce’s eyebrows creased a bit, “Why did you even bring him up anyway?”

Bucky raised his eyebrows, “I don’t know—Peter, eat—I just felt so relaxed around him.” Then Bucky came to a realization and put his head in his hands, “Oh my god, you don’t think this is a trauma thing, do you?”

He turned his attention to Peter for a quick moment, “Peter, eat your food, kid. You’re gonna be hungry later.”

Peter simply made a strange face at the turkey sandwich like he had never seen one before. Bucky sighed, “Dude, look, it’s just turkey and cheese. At least eat the turkey.”

“It looks weird.” Peter poked it with his stubby finger.

“Pete, it’s the same thing we get at home. I’ll let you play on your tablet if you eat your turkey.” That seemed to satisfy Peter and he tore a piece of turkey off and munched on it happily.

Bruce chuckled, “Listening to you call your son ‘dude’ will always make me laugh.” Then he returned to the matter at hand, “I mean it could be. Maybe it’s like a reverse Florence Nightingale situation?”

Bucky shook his head, watching Peter set his turkey aside to take a sip of his juice, “I don’t know. It was really weird. I don’t know how I feel about it.”

“Um,” Bruce looked confused, “It happened all of half an hour ago. You don’t have to know how you feel yet.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, taking one of his own napkins and wiping Peter’s hands and face, which were somehow sticky with juice, “I hate it when you’re right.”

“Daddy, who are you talking about?”

“Nunya’, kid.” Peter just giggled.

Bucky turned back to Bruce, “How’s the clinic?”

Bruce sighed dramatically and dropped his head on the table, “Let me preface this by saying that helping people is my one true love and I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life.”

Bucky chuckled warmly, “Noted.”

Bruce met Bucky’s eyes and Bucky could see the dark circles under his eyes, “I may start killing people. This close, Barnes.”

Bucky laughed again as Bruce continued, “I had one lady come in with her baby who clearly had the flu. So, I said, ‘hey, here’s some Tamiflu.’” Bruce placed both hands on the table and leaned forward emphatically, “This lady had the _audacity_ to tell me she was looking to stay away from medications! So, I said, ‘Well, this is the fastest and safest way to cure the flu in your child’ and she goes, ‘Do you even know what’s in that stuff?’ like I didn’t spend a good chunk of my twenties studying what’s in it!”

Bucky was near hysterics now, “Let me guess…”

He trailed off and they both answered at the same time, “Anti-vaxxer.” And burst into a fit of giggles.

Bucky ran a hand over his hair, “God, those people piss me off to no end.”

“You and me both,” Bruce replied with a snort.

A silence fell between the two until Peter dutifully announced, “I finished my turkey, Daddy!”

Bucky laughed, plucking his son from the chair and setting him in his lap, “Well, it’s about time.” Peter giggled as Bucky poked his side, teasingly, “We’ve got to go back upstairs.”

Bruce was looking at his phone with dismay, “Agreed.” He held up a long text message, “I’ve been summoned.”

The three gathered their trash and disposed of it properly, “Well, let me know how the clinic goes.”

Bruce didn’t look up from his phone, “Will do. Want to get a drink tonight?”

Bucky hoisted Peter up on his hip, “Can’t. I’ve got a D-A-T-E tonight.”

That made Bruce look up with an incredulous look, “You’ve got a what?!”

Bucky shrugged as they made their way towards the stairwell, “Clint thinks I should get back out there so he set me up with one of Natasha’s friends.”

Bruce looked confused for a moment as the trio paused at the place where their paths diverged, “Well, let me know how _that_ goes then. And if you want to get a drink after, let me know. I don’t work tomorrow.”

Bucky shook his head, “Me neither. I put my extra shift in the clinic for Thursday, by the way.”

“Sounds good. See you later.” Bruce started to walk off toward the clinic, then turned around to walk backward for a moment, “Bye, Peter!”

Peter waved, “Bye!”

The two started up the stairs back to Bucky’s desk, “Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“When are we going home?”

Bucky checked his watch quickly, “We’re going home when the clock says 6:00. Okay? Then we’ll go home for a little bit, then I’m going to take you to Papa’s.”

“Can I come with you to your job?”

Bucky pushed open the stairwell door, “You mean with patients?” Bucky shook his head, “Sorry, bug, can’t do that. But you can sit at the desk again and play with your tablet.”

Peter’s face fell, “Okay, Daddy.” And Bucky thanked the powers that be that he had such a polite kid.

“How about this, I’ll sit at the desk and do some work for a little bit too. Does that sound good?”

“Yeah!” Peter cheered.

Bucky set Peter in a chair nearby, passed him his tablet, and got to work electronically updating charts. This, he decided, was the most tedious part of his job.

Time ticked by quickly and before he knew it, it was time for Bucky to do his final rounds before passing his shift over. He stretched, popping his neck, and stood, gathering his charts, “Alright, Pete, I’m going to check on my patients one more time and then we can go home.”

Peter looked unbelievably bored and it took everything in Bucky to not laugh when he looked up, gave an utterly forlorn look, and sighed, “Okay.”

Mrs. Richards was quick; her surgery was a success earlier that week. Bucky was pleased to report that, after clearing it with Dr. Richards, that she would be able to leave by Thursday. She was thrilled and, as always, Bucky was reminded why he does this job.

_Despite the fact it’s the only thing you’re good at_

Major Bryant’s stitches were healing nicely but he complained of throbbing pain. Bucky kicked up his pain medication ever so slightly and made a note to speak with the nurse who was taking over his shift.

He worked quickly, desperate to go home, until he only had one chart left.

Steve’s.

_Alright, Barnes, get it together. He’s just another patient._

Bucky rapped on the door, then opened it to find Steve attempted to stand, bracing himself on the wall, “Holy shit.” The words slipped out of Bucky’s mouth as he rushed across the room.

He hooked his arm around Steve’s torso, taking on the majority of Steve’s weight and guiding him back to the bed, “Are you out of your mind?” He helped Steve sit on the bed and went back to pick up the chart he had dropped in the chaos.

“I did it in PT today.”

Bucky ran a hand over his hair, “You can’t be doing stuff like that without anyone in the room. You could hurt yourself or push yourself too hard. And for you, pushing yourself too hard could mean permanent paralysis.”

Steve didn’t answer, just crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the floor. Bucky sighed, “Okay, so PT went well?”

Steve hesitated a moment, then uncrossed his arms, “Yeah.”

Bucky nodded, “Okay, good. Then I think—" His voice was cut off by the sound of his son crying at the door.

Steve and Bucky both looked up to see a mildly-distressed Wanda carrying a crying Peter, “I’m really sorry, he wouldn’t stop.”

Bucky could spot his son’s crocodile tears from a million miles away, but he sighed and held out his arms anyway, “Don’t worry about it, we’re leaving in a minute anyway.” He took Peter from Wanda.

Almost immediately, Peter stopped crying, “You good now?” Bucky asked. He wasn’t mad, but he was just as ready to go home as Peter was. And he was really, really dreading this date.

Peter nodded silently, laying his head on his dad’s shoulder.

When Bucky turned back to Steve, he was watching the two of them with a smile. Bucky rolled his eyes good-naturedly and shifted Peter higher on his hip, “Sorry, Four-year-olds, you know?”

Steve chuckled, “No I don’t, but I’ll take your word for it.” He smiled warmly and winked at Peter, who gave a shy wave back.

Bucky flipped the chart open again with one hand, “Okay, so Kevin, your PT guy, wants you back in on Friday. He says you worked hard and did well, but he wants to give you plenty of time to rest. Is that what he discussed with you?”

Steve nodded, pushing himself back up to a leaning position in the bed, “Yeah, that’s what he said.”

Bucky continued to scan the chart, “Okay, good. Stitches feeling okay?” Steve shrugged and moved his gown, so Bucky could see them. They were an angry red and swollen ever so slightly.

Bucky leaned down to set Peter on the ground, “Pete, go sit on the chair over there, okay?” Peter hesitantly nodded and took his seat at the corner of the room. Bucky grabbed a pair of gloves from the box on the wall and snapped them on, “They hurting you?”

“No, not bad.” But Steve winced the second Bucky’s fingers touched them.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “You sure about that?”

“Well, they’re not as bad as before.” Steve offered.

Bucky chuckled and shook his head, _Men_ , he thought, “I’m going to have the doc up your pain meds a little bit to take the edge off. I’m hesitant to go any higher, but I’m sure Dr. Tyler will know better than I will. If the irritation doesn’t go down in the next couple days, I’m going to recommend putting of PT for a little while longer. Better to be safe than sorry.” He tossed his gloves in the trash and made his notes in the chart.

Then he looked up at Steve again, “Anything else?”

“Well, I’m hesitant to keep you any longer.” Steve chuckled and pointed across the room, where Peter had curled up in a chair and fallen asleep.

Bucky’s heart swelled, and he wanted nothing more than to take his darling son home, skip his stupid date, and spend the night cuddling on the couch with his boy.

“He’ll be alright. You sure there’s nothing else you need? The next nurse probably won’t be in here for about 20 more minutes.”

Steve shook his head, grabbing his papers off the table, “I think I’ll live.”

Bucky chuckled and shrugged, “Well, that’s the goal.”

There was a moment where Steve caught his eye, where Bucky was sure Steve’s bright blue eyes were magnets.

There was a moment where Bucky couldn’t look away.

He snapped out of whatever trance he had been in and slipped his hands under Peter’s arms. He lifted Peter, so his head could lay on Bucky’s shoulder, “Alright, well hit the call button if you need anything. Someone is always at the desk and your nurse will be in in a little while.”

Steve smiled softly, “Have a nice night, Bucky.”

And all Bucky could manage to stutter out was a short, “Bye.”

He collected his and Peter’s things from the desk, clocked out, said a quick goodbye to Bruce (who looked ready to pull his hair out) and carefully placed Peter in his car seat.

With every mile closer he was to home, the less he wanted to go on this date.

He pulled in the apartment parking garage and reread Clint’s text from the day before:

**His name’s Tony. He seems like a nice enough guy. He runs a big tech company here in town.**

Then he reread Tony’s text:

**Dinner @ Blue Hill? 7 pm?**

**_Sounds great. See you then._ **

Blue Hill? This guy must be loaded.

Heaving a sigh for the umpteenth time that day, Bucky carefully maneuvered Peter out of the car and up the stairs. Bucky lay next to Peter in the master bedroom while he contemplated calling the whole thing off.

_No, you have to at least try this. For Clint._

Bucky sighed. Can’t argue with that logic.

He rolled over and gently shook Peter’s shoulder, “Pete? Time to wake up, bug.”

Peter whined, “I don’t wanna go to Papa’s. I wanna stay here.”

Another good argument for skipping this stupid thing, “It’s okay, buddy. You’ll go have a good time at Papa’s and then I’ll pick you up and we can spend the whole day together tomorrow.”

Peter’s eyes were open now and he pouted, but didn’t argue, “Okay, Daddy.” Bucky couldn’t resist, so he leaned over and kissed Peter’s forehead.

With Peter sat at his little desk, coloring with Paw Patrol on in the background, Bucky mustered up the courage to change, brush his teeth, and trim his beard.

He had chosen a simple white dress shirt, with his dark blue suit jacket and pants. He grabbed his dress socks and brown Oxfords to bring into the living room with him.

Peter looked at him when he entered the room, so Bucky held his arms out and spun around a bit, “What do you think pal?”

Peter toddled over and threw his arms around Bucky’s legs, “You look fancy.” He said plainly, gazing up at Bucky lovingly.

Bucky combed Peter’s curls with his fingers, “Thanks, bug.” He looked around, trying to see if there was anything of Peter’s he needed to collect before they left, “Are you ready for Papa’s?”

Peter nodded, “Am I coming home to sleep with you tonight?”

Bucky nodded as he stepped into the kitchen and pulled his anxiety medication from the top cabinet. He looked at it for a minute, then set it back in the cabinet, “Uh huh. I’ll pick you up from Papa’s when I’m finished tonight.”

“Okay!” Then, as if remembering something, Peter rushed back to his table, “I made you a picture, Daddy!”

“Oh really?” Bucky turned his full attention back to Peter, soaking up the time he had with him before they would have to get back in the car.

“Uh huh.” He held up a bright, multicolored group of people.

There was a green girl in a dress with red hair, a blue guy with spiky hair, a short red and blue boy with curly hair, and a purple man with a grey left arm and brown hair. Next to the blue man was an orange animal that Bucky couldn’t quite identify. Bucky smiled, “Who’s all that?” He bent down to be at Peter’s level as Peter explained.

“That’s Tasha, and Papa, and Lucky, and me, and you!” Peter said proudly, holding out the drawing, “It’s for you!”

“For me?” Bucky feigned surprise.

Peter nodded matter-of-factly, “Yep. It’s our family!”

There were moments where Peter would say or do something, and Bucky would want nothing more than to scoop Peter into his arms and hold him tightly.

So that’s what he did. Peter squealed with delight as Bucky made a show of kissing Peter noisily on the cheek. He pulled away to look Peter in the eyes, “I love it.”

He looked around for a moment to see where he had set it on the counter, “You know what, I know just where to put this.”

With Peter in one arm and the picture in the other, Bucky took Peter to the master bedroom and over to his nightstand.

To Peter’s delight, Bucky propped the paper up between his picture of newborn Peter and a photo of his old platoon. Peter smiled happily, and Bucky couldn’t help but wonder if his cheeks hurt from smiling all the time.

After kissing Peter on the cheek once more, Bucky grabbed his car keys off the nightstand, “You ready to go?”

Peter nodded and buried his face in Bucky’s shoulder, “I love you, Daddy.”

Bucky smiled even though Peter couldn’t see him, “I love you too, pal.”

The drive to Clint and now Natasha’s house was short but Bucky couldn’t find room in his heart to be grateful. Peter ran from the car up to the door and rang the doorbell.

Before the door even opened, they were greeted by Lucky’s barking before Clint’s face appeared at the glass.

There was a muffled command of, “Lucky, sit.” Before Clint opened the door and scooped Peter into his arms, “Hi buddy!”

“Hi, Papa!” Peter replied with a matched level of enthusiasm. He wiggled out of Clint’s grasp to go play with Lucky and Bucky stepped inside.

Clint whistled, “You look good, Buck.”

Bucky rolled out his shoulders nervously, “You think? This place is super fancy apparently.”

Clint scoffed and waved a hand, “You’ll be great. Just be yourself, be open. I’ve met Tony, he’s a decent guy. I think you’ll like him.”

Bucky nodded, not quite knowing what else to say.

Natasha came walking out from the hallway, “Hi, Bucky.” She said, smiling softly.

He smiled, “Hey, Natasha.” A quick hug was exchanged before she looked him up and down.

“You clean up nice.”

He chuckled a bit and held his arms out, “Well, someone had to. Lord knows if Clint had had it his way, we’d have worn sweatpants every date night.”

The three chuckled.

Bucky liked Natasha. She was nice, and she was good with Peter. He relished in the fact that he didn’t have to pretend like he and Clint had never been together. She appreciated Bucky’s jokes about Clint without making it awkward.

The three of them watched Peter wrestle a toy away from Lucky, only to have the golden retriever pounce on him to get it back. Bucky pulled up his sleeve to check his watch, “I should get going.” He looked up to meet Clint’s eyes as Natasha respectfully checked herself out of the conversation.

That was another thing Bucky liked about Natasha; she didn’t pretend to be Peter’s parent. She stuck with the rules Clint and Bucky had laid down but didn’t insert herself into the conversations that weren’t for her.

“I’ll text or call when I’m on my way to pick him up.”

Clint crossed his arms casually, “Yeah, no rush. If you want him to stay the night, that’s fine too. You can pick him up in the morning or I can drop him off on my way to work.”

Bucky pondered this a moment, “Hey, Pete?”

Peter looked up from his position laying next to the dog, “Do you want to spend the night tonight?” Clint supplied, “Then I’ll take you back to Daddy’s on my way to work tomorrow.”

Peter nodded and ran up to his parents, “Yes! Can I, Daddy?”

Bucky nodded, “Sure, pal. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” He bent down and Peter jumped into his arms.

“Bye, Daddy.”

“Bye, Pete. Love you.” With that, he released his son, who returned to scratch Lucky’s belly.

He kissed Clint on the cheek, “Thanks. See you tomorrow.” Then he waved to Natasha, “Bye, Natasha.” And he let himself out.

* * *

 

Tony pushed him up against the apartment door the second it closed. Bucky fiddled with his own belt as he led Tony back through the hallway to the bedroom.

Still kissing him, Bucky moved to push Tony onto the bed. With Tony’s belt and pants already undone, he pushed them down around Tony’s ankles. Tony kicked out of them and began to unbutton his shirt.

Bucky kissed his way down Tony’s stomach.

Tony moaned with pleasure as Bucky’s hard cock rubbed up against Tony’s leg through Bucky’s boxers, “Holy shit, you’re hard.”

With Tony’s shirt undone, Bucky poised himself above Tony and pulled the shirt off, tossing it to the floor, “I’m overdue.” He whispered before sucking on Tony’s neck, listening to Tony whine and feeling his throbbing member against his own.

_Thank God I didn’t skip this goddamn date._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love when I get comments like "I can't wait to see what happens next!" because like,,, same.
> 
> Thanks for all the support! Leave kudos and comments and check out the other works I've posted!!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually really excited about this fic!! I think you guys are really going to like it.
> 
> Side note: When I had a friend beta this, they mentioned that they didn't really think Peter sounded like a four-year-old. I'm basing Peter on my best friend's son, who just turned 4. His dad is a veteran and a lot of Peter and Bucky's conversations about the Army are based on stuff I've heard my friend's son say.
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Leave kudos and comment!!


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